To blog or not to blog, that is the question.

Wether ‘tis nobler on the web to suffer the snark and criticism if outrageous naysayers, or to take arms against a sea of carbohydrates. And by opposing, end them.

To abstain… to be fat… NO MORE!!!!

 

OK, Just kidding, I’m not always that dorky, but it does happen from time to time.  ;)

I’ve decided I need a bit of a hobby, so I’ve decided to start a blog about my life as a low carber and possibly help someone else escape the dredges of carbdom. I believe in the low carb lifestyle because I know it works. The science just makes sense, it’s worked for me, I’ve seen it work for others and it can work for you.  I want to help. I want other people who felt as shitty and worthless as I did being fat to know, there is hope!!!! It’s easy, it’s doable, but it’s a commitment. It’s been said before, but bears repeating- “Losing weight is hard, being fat is hard. Pick your hard”. Just do it.

I guess I can start by telling you my story, hopefully this will be the most boring part of my blog adventure and it will get much more exciting from here, but I can’t make any promises.

Ahhhh…. 1982…. It was a good year, the year of my debut into the world. At 8lbs 6oz, I was a decent sized babe, nothing out of the ordinary and certainly not fat, yet. Fast forward a few years and on came the chunk. I was always a fat kid, even as a toddler. Not sure why, I just always recall being heavier than everyone else. I remember playing outside like a normal kid, being active and my mother never allowing chips, soda, candy or sugary cereals in the house. So why did I end up fat?? Who knows. Well actually, I do now, I’ve read Taubes’ newest, but I’ll get to that later I’m sure. But anyway, yep, fat from the get-go, nothing I could do. Growing up was tough for me. I was raised in a 2 parent household (still married actually) and I have a brother who is 4 years older than I. Mom and dad both worked hard, mom from home, dad was away a lot, but that was kind of okay with me. Interacting with dad was rough, still is really. I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it to say, my weight was always a topic of… “conversation” we’ll call it. Not the best motivator for a kid, as you can imagine, but I don’t blame him. His dad was an ass to him, so I guess shit rolls downhill as they say and frankly, I was an easy target for disappointment. Anyway, my mom tried everything to help me lose weight. I remember joining a gym and having a personal trainer in elementary school. I also remember attending weight watchers meetings as a kid with my mom, but I was the member. We had to get special permission for me to attend. Talk about embarrassing, but bless her heart, she tried. However, nothing worked. It sucked, as you all know I’m sure. Elementary school was hell, riding the bus was terrifying, not sure what was going to get thrown at me each day, just because I was different. Kids are assholes. I got called every name in the book and eventually just stopped listening. Yeah, I’m fat, great, how original.      .sigh.

All that is rough on a kid and I’m sure I still have some residual bullshit rolling around in my head from it, but it made me the strong woman I am today, so I guess it wasn’t all for naught.

Anyway, moving on to junior high, still fat (shocking, I know) but ended up making some awesome lifetime friends and caring if I was heavy became less of a concern. I lost weight in high school for some reason, more active? Puberty? Who knows, but one crappy break up the summer between junior and senior year and I ballooned up to almost 300lbs my senior year. And so, my life as a morbidly obese woman began.

From 2000-2009, I bounced around from about 210 to 300+, depending on my depression level at the time (Side note- I’ve been on Prozac on and off since ‘99). Funny part is, looking back the most fun I ever had and some of the most fond memories I have are from 2005, the fattest I have ever been, no doubt over 300lbs, but I was happy and I didn’t care. In hindsight though, I wasn’t happy. I was having fun, yeah, but always in the back of my mind, I envied my thin friends who got all the attention and hated being the ‘fat friend’ and being virtually invisible. Sometimes when you’re fat though, you come to be thankful for being invisible, since attention usually ends up being a negative event. But dammit, I want positive attention, I mean, who doesn’t?

Anyway, fast forward again to summer of 2009. I was 282lbs, depressed and basically just ‘over’ being fat. So I started a low calorie, low fat diet and stuck to it to a T. In one month, I lost 2lbs. I was miserable, hungry and not seeing the results I wanted. My brother had recently lost about 80lbs following Protein Power, so I turned to him for help. I was ready to try anything, unconventional? Maybe. But I knew it worked, so I was game. He gave me the book, told me to read it and let him know if I had any questions, and boy did I. He’s a patient man, because I must have been annoying as hell the first couple months! I cut down to 30g of carbs a day and in less than 3 months, lost 30lbs and felt awesome. Then enter the holiday season and long story short; between then and Sept 2010, I gained it all back. I had tried restarting it again a few times, but always ended up stuffing my face with carbs and got right back up to 280. After moving to Florida in February 2010 at 260, then finding 280 again in the fall, I finally said enough is enough.

The first day of my new life as a former carb addicted fat-ass was Septemer 13th, 2010 at 280lbs. Today I weighed in at 203.  I’ve been struggling for a while to get under 200, a few more cheats than I should have, but life happens. 77lbs is a lot. I’m damn proud of myself. I feel better, I look better and I can do things without second-guessing if I’m too fat to do them. Of course I still second guess, but I’m hoping it’s a bad habit I will lose over time.

As far as what made me get my shit together, I have no idea. I’ve had numerous ‘wake up calls’ or ‘light bulb moments’ over the years, not fitting on roller coasters, breaking chairs, etc, but I guess I was just never ready. I guess something finally clicked, like ‘hey, you know how to do this, you know it works, now get off your ass and do it already!’

So I did.

Pardon the goofy face in the ‘during’, I was being silly. I will post more progress photos as I get into this, but this will do for now, you see what I’m working with here.

I’ve got a long way to go to get to a “healthy weight” of 145 (according to BMI charts and such), but for once, I can see it happening. My goal is to be there by the time I turn 30 in November, but even if that is a bit of a steep goal, I’ll still be closer to ‘normal’ than I ever have been, and that is what matters.

I’ve lost the weight thus far with little to no exercise, as I’m just a lazy creature. But I do wish I had paid more attention to doing that on the way down. When you don’t incorporate exercise, sure, you lose fat, but you don’t gain muscle and things get a bit…. Loose. Blech.

So as of the new year, I’ve started walking a few miles almost every day. I’m hoping exercising is like drinking water, the more you do it, the more you want to do it? But we shall see, at least I am doing something.

So, you may be asking yourself what my purpose in blogging is, my story isn’t all that different than anyone else’s really, I’m not a snowflake and I’m certainly not much if a writer, but I think it’s good for me to have a place to vent my daily struggles on this way of life, cathartic hopefully. But what I really hope is that people who read this, one person even, can become inspired to take control, lose weight and live a happier, more fulfilling life because of it. I’m thankful every day to my brother who gave me this knowledge and changed my life, quite possibly saved it as well.

I’ll be posting my triumphs, defeats, thoughts, struggles, recipes, meals, advice, encouragement, whatever. I want to see what this can grow into. I’m not an expert nor am I a health/exercise nut, I’m just a regular chick, making my way and trying to get healthy and look good. Yes, vanity is important!!

Some follow and some lead…. I think I’ve earned my stripes as a follower, I’m thinking I’ll try my hand at leading.

Coming along??